we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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