No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
