Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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