it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
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