You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
