It's Friday. Sex?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
