shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
