yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
