ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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