We should be called the Road Head Warriors
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
