I want to walk on stilts...naked
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
