the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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