did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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