I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
