omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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