Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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