apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
