remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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