No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
