What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
