I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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