He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize