Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
