But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
