Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
