I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
