Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
