gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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