I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
