Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
