I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
