return my video game
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
