Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
