I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
