did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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