Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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