I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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