is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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