Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
