My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
