I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
