The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
