I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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