i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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