...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
