last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
