Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
