does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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