my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm just crazy horny about you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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