Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
