Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
