Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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