Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
