The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
