I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
