so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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