He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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