are you still at the devil's house?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
