The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
