So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
