Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
