i can't believe i had my finger in that
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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