Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
