3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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