they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
