FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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