i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
