She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
