Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
