I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
