the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
