where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
