i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
